Monday, October 24, 2011

Helloooooo readers :) 

Because of my recent weight loss, I've been getting a lot of emails/Facebook messages asking me about my workout regimen and my nutrition. I started a new blog that focuses more on fitness/diet here. Check it out! Also, just because I'll probably be posting more frequently on the new blog, I probably won't be on the Info Dome too much for the time being. 

Stay classy, readers! 

Friday, August 12, 2011

Proatmeal Bars :)

These babies are the tits: delicious and diet-compliant. They're especially awesome for a quick breakfast, snack, or post-workout nutrition. Enjoy :)

  • 2 cups oats
  • 1/2 cup natural peanut butter (chunky or smooth)
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • 4 scoops preferred protein powder*
*Chocolate, cookies & cream, and strawberry Muscle Milk are my favorites :) 

  • Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl (I've found it easiest to use my hands).
  • Spread mixture on a piece of plastic wrap.
  • Mold mixture into large square-ish shape.
  • Freeze for about 30 minutes.
  • Cut square into 8 even bars.
  • Store proatmeal bars in refrigerator. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

T3- I'm not fat anymore!

I haven't blogged since April. I'll spare you the bullshit apology because the truth is that I am unemployed, on summer break from school, I have no friends, and my only real hobby is working out...I haven't been busy or anything; I just literally have nothing interesting to blog about. Also, I am irresponsible and lazy. My excuse? Hey, I am young :) 

So, as many of you know, I am not fat anymore! Those of you who don't know, I've lost about 30 pounds and I'm not fat anymore! A lot of people ask me how I've lost the weight, so I decided that I'd write this week's month's bi-annual blog post on my new lifestyle...T3 status [what what]. 

1.) Fuel- Here's the truth through my eyes regarding nutrition: what you put into your body is the most important decision you make, health-wise, on a daily basis. Exercising is extremely important, but if your body is not properly fueled, you will not be performing well enough in your workouts to see improvements that you need and desire. Exercise does not, and should not have to, cancel out poor nutrition. There is no magical diet to abide by; eating healthfully should not be viewed as a 6-week plan or temporary program, but something that you will be doing all day, everyday, for the rest of your life. 

General guidelines for my nutrition:
  • Absolutely no processed foods, with the exception of supplements. 
  • 40% carbohydrates, 30% protein, and 30% fat macronutrient breakdown. 
  • The fresher and more natural, the better.
  • Cheat day is Saturday, but don't go get too crazy.
  • Write down everything that goes down the chute. 
  • Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
  • Take multivitamins and supplements consistently.
2.) Exercise- This is a no brainer: calories in, calories out. You can lose weight by eating better and sitting on the couch all day, but you're not going to get any stronger or fitter...I'd rather weigh 200 pounds and be able to run, jump, lift, kiiiiiiick, etc. than be stick-thin and have no physical ability. I have absolutely fallen in love with working out; it's what I do when I'm sad, happy, angry, bored, post-cheat day, etc. The secret? Find something that you enjoy; for me, this includes CrossFit, spin classes, heated yoga classes, running [wtf?], and hiking. I highly recommend experimenting with new activities, finding a workout buddy, taking a group exercise class at your gym, creating a solid support system among your friends and family, and challenging yourself. I do things everyday that I never thought I'd be able to do and that, for me, is so much bigger than my shrinking size or the way I look in the mirror. 

My general workout schedule at a glance [AKA Beast Mode]:
  • Monday: 2 mile run, CrossFit (morning), spin class (evening), foam rolling & stretching.
  • Tuesday: Relatively low-intensity workout (morning), 5k run (evening).
  • Wednesday: 2 mile run, CrossFit + some nature of cardio (usually rowing), foam rolling & stretching. 
  • Thursday: Rest day (usually).
  • Friday: 2 mile run, spin class (morning), CrossFit (evening), foam rolling & stretching. 
  • Saturday: Spin class, Bootcamp class, foam rolling & stretching.
  • Sunday: A generally death-inducing CrossFit workout. 
3.) Motivation- Sincerely ask yourself this question: why do you want to get healthier? If you cannot answer this question or you want it for the wrong reasons, you will likely fail. My answer 6 months ago: to be happier, to be healthier, to live longer, and to feel better. That is precisely what I've achieved, but I have so many more reasons to keep going: I love the challenges, I love the accomplishments, and I love myself and my body. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember; even when I wasn't technically overweight, I hated my body and was constantly struggling to lose a petty 10 pounds. Once I got into high school, as I blossomed into obesity due to inactivity and poor nutrition, I realized that I really wasn't fat before. Funny how that works, eh? By the time I turned 18, I had tried more diets than I had years to my name (Weight Watchers, South Beach, Adkins, Cabbage Soup, Special K, and even the pathetic HCG diet, to name a few). Some of them "worked" for a while, but there is really no way to lose weight but the right way: proper exercise and nutrition. I wouldn't be caught dead saying that it's been easy, but it's really not as hard as you may assume. The first two weeks are always the hardest part of any new routine, whether the goal be losing weight, quitting smoking, consistently flossing, etc. Just stick it out for two weeks and remember that it WILL get better.

Some motivational techniques of mine:
  • Write down your goal somewhere that you can see it everyday.
  • Find a motivational phrase that will keep you going (mine is "Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever." It's tattooed on my wrist.)
  • Find a fitness idol (Julie Foucher is my bitch!!)
  • Make a goals/rewards poster (located to the left).
  • Deem a song your official "kick ass song" to start every workout with (my current song is Kick in the Teeth by Papa Roach).
  • Get a subscription to a fitness magazine (Muscle & Fitness Hers and Oxygen are my favorites).
  • Take before, half way, right now, anytime, and after pictures (also at the bottom of this post).
  • Type in 'CrossFit' on will not regret it.
  • Get a badass nickname. I have several: Rocky, Sweet Muscles Shelby, and Womanimal :) 
  • Always remember that you can do anything you set your mind to.

"You can have results or excuses. Not both."

Thursday, April 28, 2011

T3- 4/28

I'm running out of exciting names for the T3 posts, so I'm just going to use dates from now on. What do you want from me? I just posted a T3 a few days ago, so this post is going to be a test of my bitching abilities...I don't know if I can top the back fat poem though. I'll try...

1.) Skinny tank tops- The spanx for your upper body!! This shit is false advertisement. Let's view this from the gentleman's side of things: you're hanging out at the bar and you see a decent looking female from across the way...make your move, man. Score #1: she's drunk. Score #2: she's easy. Score #3: she's coming home with you. You two are macking face on your hand-me-down loveseat and you go to cop a feel...hmmm, interestingly rock-hard abs! Score #4 for you, right? Nope. You take her tank top off and you're sorely disappointed: this woman has a beer gut. You're a shallow piece of crap for caring so much, but she's a deceitful bitch for hiding behind a tank-top because she's too lazy to do a few crunches. Ladies, these tank tops are not going to make you skinny...exercising and laying off of the malt liquor will make you skinny.

2.) Locker room nudists- Confidence is a wonderful thing; lack of discretion is a terrible thing. When these two collide in a locker room, the result is obnoxious and unpleasant. I'm not necessarily shy in the locker room: I change my clothes, I don't care who sees my body, and I move on with my gym experience. I do not, however, mosey around the room in the buff, slather lotion on my entire, naked body, or preform post-workout stretches while I'm changing. I can even handle these things most days, but when I see buttholes, I tend to get frustrated; I am NEVER prepared to see a woman's butthole on a daily basis.

3.) Captain Crunch- I just can't stay away from you and your crunch berries! You irresistible hunk of man, you!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

T3- Action Packed!

Hello readers :) I would ordinarily apologize for being a worthless terd of a blogger, but we all know that make-up posts are just as good ;) That's what she said. It's been a good minute since I've posted, so I've definitely made a few T3-worthy observations. Here's what's pissing me off this week:

1.) 4/20 Haters- You go out on Friday nights and you drink and drive; in fact, society hears about a drinking and driving accident at least once a week. Uhm enough said? Yes, but I'll continue. You drink and you become hateful and you make ridiculous decisions (i.e. throwing furniture, imitating a free-range chicken, sleeping with a mustached woman, or operating a vehicle). And you're going to hate on the stoners?  Hypocrite, much?

*Note: exclusions from this generalization are the following: responsible drinkers (high five), irresponsible stoners (The Beatles suck!!)*

2.) Running- As much as I try, I just cannot seem to fall in love with running. I do understand why people love it; running is to runners as cycling is to me :) Except for the fact that running is terrible. Just when I get to that point during a run when I think to myself, "Hey there, Shelby, this isn't so bad", I throw up and change my mind. I find it absolutely impossible to develop a solid rhythm and I basically end up huffing and puffing or holding my breath until I pass out. Add in some D-cup boobies and it's simply torture. Ever notice that most women that claim to love running have small cha-chas? It's because they aren't getting punched in the face by a 5-pound boob everytime they stride. Give me some duct tape and an oxygen machine and I'll reconsider my hatred for the "sport".

3.) Back fat- I wrote this poem about back fat...

Below my bra strap, you reside;
Squishy, fatty, jiggly, and wide.
You eat my t-shirt while I jog;
All of the attention you must hog. 
Back extensions, rowing machines, cardio galore;
I fucking hate you back fat, THIS MEANS WAR!

Hope you guys enjoyed the makeup sex post :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Fitness Friday- Circuit of Death

Happy Monday, friends :) My sincerest apologies that I am posting my Fitness Friday post on this here lovely Monday, but I actually did eventful things this weekend for the first time in quite a while! Today, I'd like to share one of my favorite workouts, which I generally refer to as the Circuit of Death :)

This workout combines strength training with cardiovascular exercise in an interval/circuit setup, in layman's terms: this is worth the effort. This workout works best with 3+ gym buddies, but it can absolutely be done alone if your workout pals are chickens. For this example, I will be giving the steps/supplies as if there are 3 people doing the workout, but it can be easily adjusted for when everyone sees your great results and wants to start working out with you :)

  • 12 notecards (may vary depending on # of participants)
  • Large workout area (room for flailing and frolicking)
What to do:
  1. Write one workout on each notecard (i.e. pushups, squats, etc.) 
  2. Lay notecards in large circle.
  3. While gym buddy #1 is jogging/skipping around exercise area, buddy #2 and #3 will be doing the exercises to the jogger's right.
  4. When buddy #1 has completed the cardio card, everyone will rotate to the right.
  5. Complete one full rotation, rest for 1 minute, and repeat circuit AT LEAST 3 times.
Basically, however long the jogger is jogging, that is how long the other participants will be doing the exercises on the card in front of them. The distance for the cardio cards is absolutely up to the participants (it can be 2 laps around the exercise area, one mile, etc.), but the longer the cardio distance, the harder the circuit gets. Here is a drawing of my usual circuit:

This workout has endless possibilities and offers great results,'re welcome :)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

T3- Great Advice

Somebody peel me off a golden star because I am actually posting my Three Thing Thursday post on a Thursday today! This never happens :) I'm experiencing a lot of changes in my life right now and I'm always looking for great advice to keep me going, so I thought I'd share the three best pieces of advice I've ever gotten/given.

1.) Be true to yourself- "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you." -Dr. Suess :) It is truer than true. I used to live my life according to standards and opinions of everyone else around me, but ultimately none of it matters if you are unhappy. I think that the most important thing in life is to be true to yourself and live life the way you think it is supposed to be lived. There is no manual or how-to guide for life, so it's up to individuals to pave their own path that meets their dreams, needs, and desires.

2.) Do what makes you happy- I had a wonderful job after I graduated high school; I was a technical writer for a defense contracting company. A job that generally requires a masters degree and a few years of experience; needless to say, I was a bit ahead of my peers. I was making 35K a year with full medical benefits and paid time see what I'm getting at here: it was a really great job. I got laid off last August because the company was making budget cuts; life as I knew it quickly flashed in front of my eyes. I couldn't imagine being happy without my career. Today I am unemployed, living with my father, and struggling to pay for school, but I am the happiest I've been in my life. Losing my job taught me that life is not about working, making money, and sitting at a desk 40+ hours a is about doing what makes you happy, regardless of what it may be. I have time to hula-hoop, read books, exercise, take naps, and savor every minute of my day. 

3.) Love & respect yourself- Let me clarify that I am not promoting selfishness or conceitedness, but love and acceptance of your individual self. I am neurotic, I have ridiculous pet peeves, I have strange eating habits, I have stretch marks on my hips, terrible morning breath, giant hair, and acne that will hang around until my late thirties, but I don't mind so much anymore. It is extremely common, especially for women, to judge themselves and hold insecurities, but I have recently learned that it is completely pointless. When no one else is there to love and respect you, you have to be able to do that for yourself. Know that it's okay to be different, strange, weird, or whatever you may be...

Happy Thursday, err'body :) Fitness Friday post tomorrow! You can count on it!